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Jennifer Moule - My Blog
Jennifer Moule - My Blog
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Women & Sex: The Dirty Little Secret.

This post is going to be ridden with taboo and confession, so I'll start off small:

My name is Jennifer Moule and I'm a die hard Glee fan.

Glee, whether or not you love it like I do, is starting to take us places. It's showing new, open reactions to homosexuality - even by the most unlikely characters, and shiny-but-deep representations of the difficulty of high school peer culture. It's opening new possibilities for what's "acceptable" for young people to be. It's absolutely fabulous, to say the least.

This isn't new commentary on the show, especially in terms of the homosexuality themes, but there is one forward-thinking scene that I believe has gone extremely under-appreciated. (Sadly I can't find it online, but it's in Season One, Episode Two). In one of her classic storm-outs, Rachel declares to the boys of the Celibacy Club (in which we learned that "it's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing") that "Girls want sex as much as guys do".

I was really pleased with this declaration; it painted a picture of women that hasn't been televised before. Women want sex too, and not just the [choose one: mentally unbalanced/delinquent/predatorial/cougar/alcoholic/insecure/ nymphomaniac] "type" of women portrayed on screens. Real, live, every day, common women want sex. And Glee is starting to tell the world that that's okay - normal even. It's refreshing because, frankly, I'm becoming more and more furious with the message that women wanting sex is not okay.

First of all, telling girls that they shouldn't want sex is on the exact same levels of the other bodily functions that females are fully a part of but are supposed to be kept secret. For one thing, girls poop. They also have periods. And they fart. And grow body hair. And, like Rachel-from-Glee so confidently proclaimed, they get horny and want sex. Why are these natural functions, that any ninth grade science text book would expose, supposed to be huge girl secrets? Why should we be discouraged in allowing them to be part of who we are? Why are we told that we're born so completely flawed?

Why is this still - and maybe increasingly so - going on in the 21st century?


Really, we need to fight back. Tell someone you pooped (ideally a boy) and, more importantly, enjoy (safe, consensual) sex, if that's what you want to do, and be proud to say you enjoyed it :).

My name is Jennifer Moule, and I enjoy sex :).




(...sorry mom and dad...)

February 1, 2010 | 4:34 AM Comments  1 comments



Spanking & Empathy.
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Today I was discussing spanking with a friend (and not the good kind, either), and I just don't understand, at all, how people could possibly think that it's okay. How can anyone argue FOR the hitting of ANYONE, let alone people who are put in a position that is completely at our mercy. We put ourselves responsible for their protection but spanking is almost like the threat of taking it away. In my opinion, it would mess a person up, thinking that the people you need to trust the most can turn on you by hitting you if you go against their wishes.

Aside from the (in my opinion) obvious hypocrisy in teaching children to make good choices through violence, and the (in my opinion) obvious inspiration for those children to control and intimidate others and solve their problems through violence, I am starting to think that spanking might be a great deterrent to the development of empathy in people. How can we possibly expect children to develop anything but resentment and/or passivity by hitting them for correction? Violence in general fosters hate, anger, and begets either more violence or a victim mentality. If, by spanking children, we are continuing the likelihood of perpetrators and victims of violence, how can there be empathy in the world? How can there be change in the world? Empathy is destroyed by the resentment and change is destroyed not only by the lack of empathy but also by the creation of victims: people who internalize the submission demanded by their parents and therefore and too timid to create change?

The empathy part is so important. Like I said in the previous post, if children can internalize empathy for others they will grow into adults who internalize empathy for others. If most people can feel empathy for one another, that can make great positive change in the world. HUGE. In my last post I suggested that this can be taught to children, but maybe the possibility of empathy education would be blocked by this ignorantly accepted form of childhood behaviour guidance.

In the moment, spanking generates negative feelings towards the spanker; feelings that generally resonate long after the spanking itself has ceased. Often the spanker is the child's parent, and so the child carries an undertone of resentment for and fear from that parent even during childhood. This resentment and especially fear intrude on a child's ease in having TRUST for her or his parent, and if one can't trust a parent in childhood it is so difficult to foster a trusting relationship with anyone else. Additionally, the resulting resentment means carrying negative feelings for those people who are supposed to hold the most intimate relationships and therefore interferes with a child's ability to truly empathize with the parent. Just like trust, if a child has difficult forming a truly positive and empathetic bond with a parent it becomes a mould for future relationships.

What then? In my opinion, if a person has difficulty empathizing with the people around her or him then empathy for strangers is almost impossible. This is the big barrier to true change and freedom from oppression in the world. Walk around hesitantly and resentfully around others and the possibility for empathy is almost impossible.

So I guess my point is this: Even if you feel justified arguing the rightness of hitting ANYONE let alone a child, consider how society in general is affected by a parent's perpetuation of anger, resentment, distrust, and violence. If you're fighting for a more positive and inclusive world then you should be fighting AGAINST spanking.

(And don't even get me started on the basic rights violated along the way.)

August 30, 2009 | 8:31 PM Comments  0 comments



The Power of Empathy
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Shout out to Celine Dion. She, like essentially every other musical artist around, sang about love - in this case "The Power of Love". However, "love" can be a tricky word; love can be a place setting for disaster and violence, or a reason for those sickeningly happy couples who feed each other strawberries in public. Overall, though, the meaning behind love, especially romantic love, can be wavering, complicated, and arbitrary. While tons of songs about love aim to melt someone's heart or spell out what's in it, many other love-related songs have a different meaning than the traditional romanticism. Songs like The Black Eyed Peas' "Where is the Love?" and The Beatles' "All You Need is Love" (and many others, mostly from the Hippie era) seem to be talking about something different.

I'm starting to think that the "love" they talk about, is short hand for "empathy".

I think that the reason that so many people call for Love to conquer the hate in this world is because what they really mean is the understanding that comes with (the ideal form of) love. Their vision is that people will "love one another" as themselves (isn't there a Commandment out there about that?) and therefore feel connected to their situation and their suffering. Most of all, in calling for love, they just want people to CARE. The hope is for people to truly and honestly care about other people with whom they have little to no connection other than being a co-member of the human race. They want them to care about those people as if they're a close loved one. They want them to FEEL that suffering and therefore the intensity of their situation. All of that is empathy, and the greatest part about shifting from "love" to "empathy" is that empathy can be LEARNED.

The learning is slowly happening. Happily, I've been able to observe in the Roots of Empathy program, where an ECE partners with an elementary school classroom and a neighbourhood mother and baby. In the program the children get to learn about what it's like to have a small baby and what it's like to BE a small baby. It's a huge step in teaching children to be able to put themselves in the shoes of others, no matter how foreign the situation, and try to understand their experience of the world. It's the drive to TRY that's important, it fosters a truly interested and caring attitude towards that person's life and situation. It's really wicked, to say the least. This is why Early Childhood Education is SO important. It's the difference between simply removing a child who's hurt another or talking to the assailing child and helping her or him understand how the victimized child must feel, so that they start to care to think about it. So that they start to CARE about how the people affected by their actions FEEL. It's vital, and it can all lead to the "Love" the Black Eyed Peas are looking for.

If a whole generation, more or less, can grow up with strong empathy skills, the world can change in leaps and bounds. If the majority people could truly CARE about how their actions affect everyone they encounter and everyone they don't then not only positive actions but the positive energy would be pervasive. Put (very) simply, if people are nice to you - like truly genuinely nice to you 90% of the time - then that just improves your quality of life. The biggest thing is is that there's no real reason that people should NOT be nice to everyone, regardless of closeness. I realize that this is starting to sound like I've overdosed on sunshine and rainbows, but honestly, think about it.

Is it really that much to ask in proposing that people do their best to be genuinely NICE to others? To honestly care about how our actions affect others and the impact of the life situations of other people in the world? Did we not learn these things at a very young age?

Let's just try it for a week, or so, and see what happens. It will not just have a positive impact on lives around you, but it will do wonders for your own happiness in the world :).

August 20, 2009 | 12:50 AM Comments  3 comments

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Scarves and Homelessness
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Caitlin and I, we have decided that we are going to knit scarves like crazy between now and, say, February that we will give out to homeless people in Toronto. It's not a lot but I wanted to be able to give something that showed some compassion for their plight but did not force anything upon them. Also, since we (without our parents' contribution) are students with very little money, we can't really manage to contribute money to as many people as we would hope. Plus maybe a scarf could be more meaningful because it's more long-lasting than money and addresses a basic need: warmth.

I'm really excited to get started. I have been looking for random, small acts to be able to contribute to the community and I think this will be perfect. Tomorrow I get to knitting!

August 17, 2009 | 11:59 PM Comments  1 comments



Gay Rights Debate
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

I'm currently in the midst of an intense debate in the TiG discussion boards over the "rightness" of same sex marriage and, frankly, I'm disgusted. In fact, I feel that sinking feeling, skin crawling with disgust. Immobilized. I am so disturbed that some people can possibly think in some of these ways - especially people who claim to be committed to bettering this world and hope for the best through joining this site.

I guess it just means though, that it might be the topic for which I need to stand the greatest, because it has the greatest ignorance standing against it.

The debate can be found here http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/30735/?start=120 in the last 10 or so comments. Please read it and give your own reactions, either here or in the discussion boards!

I need to think of the best ways to make change on this issue, especially among young males. Any ideas?

(Probably more on this later).

August 16, 2009 | 8:29 PM Comments  0 comments

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